Of Illusions

I had this grand illusion that when classes start for the kids I would be out trying different cafes in the city while reading on my Kindle. I imagined having so much time in my hands I could have my nails done weekly, visit shops which we've passed by on many occasions but I never had the chance to visit. I really believed this would happen.


The day they started school, I set my appointment for some self-pampering, body scrub and massage. I enjoyed having some me-time even though hours later I had to go back to reality of dishes to be washed and food to be cooked. The kids are now on their second week of classes and the other part of my illusion has remained just an illusion. I don't have a spare time to myself except for brief moments that I'd take a peek at Facebook, which feels like my only link to my former life with a helper and nanny for my kids.

Looking back now, I wonder how I could ever have thought it would be easier with the kids in school? Quieter and lonelier perhaps, but not easier. The chores at home didn't fly off to school too with the kids. It The mountain of clothes to be washed got higher, there's more cooking to be done for the kids' breakfast and lunch and I got sleep-deprived because I have to wake up early to prepare everything for the kids. I also had this plan every time I woke up to catch some snooze after the kids and hubby have left for school. Guess what, it never happened too.

While this may all seem sad, there is a perk that comes with the job. I get too exhausted to have the appetite to eat. But so far, this is the only one I can mention. I have to rack my brains for some other benefits of all this hard work. I can't really be too sure that there is anything more because the eyes that see haven't noticed that the bathroom floors, toilets and sinks are gleaming with cleanliness. Nor has anyone noticed that the pillows and cushions in the living room are not close falling to the floor, or that there are no dust bunnies under our beds. So maybe this is all an illusion too that I have been working.